we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
