so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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