My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
