I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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