He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize