are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize