we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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