Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
