She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
