How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
