Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
