It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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