We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
