so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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