I need help removing her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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