So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
