Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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