I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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