Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize