Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
