I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
