Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
