Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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(728): View more from

We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels

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(619): View more from California

Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.

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(630): View more from Illinois

So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"

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