I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
