Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
