I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
