"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize