Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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