Barsexuality is the new black.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize