so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
