With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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