That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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