There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
