i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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