You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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