ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize