is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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