There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
