I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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