talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize