I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
