you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
