two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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