sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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