so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
