Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
