I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
