Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nicole vs. Life
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
