And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
