Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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