yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
