Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
