i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
