butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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