New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
