Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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