omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got inside last night via doggy door
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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