He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize