Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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