forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
