Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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