He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
