Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
