thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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