I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You have to summon your inner elephant
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am one with the molecules
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
