Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
