My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
