I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
