Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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