im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
