your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
