U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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