You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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